Travelogue

stardate 0708.12 – somewhere over Utah.

I am a nervous flier.  Not that I need to jack myself up on bloody mary’s and Xanax before getting on a plane but still pretty nervous.

Actually I would probably do the bloody mary/Xanax cocktail if I didn’t travel alone so much – I would need someone to gently guide me to my destination otherwise Rick would get a call in the middle of night from Bucharest asking him to come pick me up.

I’m not certain when I started getting nervous about flying.  I was a seasoned traveler at age three after having spent six months in Argentina and throwing up in the ashtrays at an airport in Brazil.

I think it started back in the late 90’s the first time I flew to visit my sister Mary in Madison.  It was late May and I flew to Minneapolis first and took a little puddle jumper type plane to Madison.  We were delayed in Minneapolis because of miserable weather until finally the powers that be that decide these things figured ‘what the heck – it’s a small plane and not many people; let’s send them on their way.’  What’s the worst that could happen?

It was like being in a movie with really bad special effects – the plane bouncing around in the sky like some sort of cosmic yoyo and the skies lighting up with lightening.  I was sitting right by the wing and and suddenly there was a huge flash of light and a gigantic boom!  Lightening struck the wing of the airplane.  Everyone in the plane screamed.  I mean everyone.  I’m pretty sure I even heard the pilot give out an alarmed yell.  Good lord I have never been so happy to get off a plane and on to solid land.

Then one lovely late Summer morning my sister Nicki and I boarded an airplane, heading off once again to Madison to attend my sister Mary’s wedding.  We were in a huge brand new 777 – the plane was practically empty and we had all kinds of room to spread out.  I was watching our progress on a little monitor – I love when planes have that – you can watch a little plane as it makes it’s way across a map of the United States (or where ever you are) – anyway we were just about where that picture above was taken when I noticed the plane making a U-turn.  I was just turning to Nicki with a puzzled look in my face when the pilot announced there was a matter of National security and all planes were being told to land at the nearest airport. 

Who knew that when we set out that beautiful September 11th morning we would finish the day huddled in front of our televisions while the horror of the day was replayed over and over again.

The plane was so new and huge that not many airports could handle deplaning them so we ended up flying all the way back to Sacramento.  The entire time we had no idea what was going on.  At least we didn’t end up landing the middle of Utah – it was much easier to get home from Sacramento.

Well that whole event would certainly put a person off flying.  Then there was another weather related trip of horror about a year and half ago.  I was flying to Boston to visit a customer.  I had a lay over in Chicago.  I boarded the plane in Sacramento where we sat on the runway because of bad weather in the Midwest.  We sat there for almost two hours when we finally got the okay to take off.  But as we were flying the weather was getting worse and worse in Chicago so they diverted the plane to Minneapolis.  We weren’t allowed to get off the plane – we had to sit there until the weather cleared up and we could continue on to Chicago.  Some poor guy’s ultimate destination was Minneapolis and they wouldn’t even let him off the plane.  Finally they let us go and when we got to Chicago at 1:00am all flights had been canceled.  I bet that guy from Minneapolis was ticked. 

I called my travel department and they booked me a room at the airport hotel – only when I went to check in the desk manager said the reservation was for the next night (yay travel department) and they were booked solid.  I was ready to cry at that point and was going to suggest she just give me a pillow and blanket and direct me to the nearest maintenance closet.  She took pity on me and gave me a room that was booked – she said maybe they wouldn’t show up.   

Today’s flight wasn’t bad really except that the plane was really small.  I feel safer in a big plane for some reason.  When I’m flying all these words start popping up in my head like ‘wind shear’ and ‘mid-flight engine failure.’  It doesn’t help when you are flying along, out in the middle of the country somewhere, and the pilot suddenly banks.  For no discernible reason – It’s not like he’s anywhere ready to land or anything.  Usually it’s followed by another sharp bank in the other direction.  Personally I think it is the pilot equivalent of nodding off and driving onto the shoulder.  I can just hear the co-pilot saying "whoa dude!  Wake up – you’re drifting."

Now I’m sitting in a lovely, generic hotel room in beautiful Colorado Springs.  I’ll be here the week and then Saturday it’s back on a plane to go home.